Believing with our Bodies: Experiments in Faith Beyond Understanding

We’re in an epidemic of doubt. It has side effects of guilt and exhaustion. We want to believe, we feel bad that we don’t, we try harder to believe. This thing that’s supposed to be a relationship based on grace just feels like too much work.

Our minds and understanding are certainly a part of who we are but we wear them thin. At some point we get tired of talking ourselves into faith. Is there another way to engage with God?

One way forward is to engage with a different part of ourselves—our imaginations and bodies.

In our Western approach, we’ve come to understand belief as understanding and assent. But if God is mysterious, how can we ever believe something we can’t understand? If faith is by its very nature trusting something beyond ourselves how can we ever come to total agreement with something we can’t see?

Belief is not mental assent alone but is expressed by how we live.

If, in the middle of the night, we wake to find ourselves suddenly in calamity—sirens blaring, lights flashing—before we even understand what’s happening, we’ll reach for something—a spouse, a phone, a weapon. We need help, answers, protection and with our bodies we communicate what we believe will provide our needs.

This is the level on which God wants our belief, even when we don’t understand—a gut-level reaching for him as the source of everything.

So instead of talking myself into belief (which just frustrates and exhausts me) I’ve learned an experimental approach which has shaped me more than any efforts at understanding.

I simply ask myself, “What scriptural thing do I have trouble believing?” And there’s a long list—that God is good when the world is broken, that God’s spirit is in my body, that in God there is abundance, that Jesus is still coming again, that the Church can be a force for good, that God answers prayer, that God is not absent in our suffering.

And then I ask myself: If I really believed that thing how would I live?

And I choose to live in that way. To embody belief in something my mind can’t grasp. 

Not to test God. But to stretch myself, my imagination and my belief as a way to live as if it’s true. And even if it doesn’t go perfectly, I’m always shaped by the discomfort. I’m always astounded that the experiment didn’t kill me and that my heart had the capacity to live in a different way.

If I really believed God is good, I would look for signs of his goodness. And when I did I noticed a tiny spider’s web in the grass, glinting with dew. I noticed a friend’s texted prayer which came at just the right time.

If I really believed there’s abundance, I’d share more with others. And when I did I felt my heart expand. I found I had enough. 

If I really believed the spirit is in my body, I’d actually stop in crisis to rely on his comfort and guidance. And when I did I found a source of insight I’d never trusted before.

If you really believed that scriptural thing you want to believe, how would you live?

Live like that for a week or two and take note of what you learn, even in the surprises and discomforts. Even if you still don’t understand and your mind is still tired, you may come to believe in your body. In your moment of need, you may find yourself believing by reaching for God.